Dear Future President:
I don’t know who you are, and where you’ll be found….but I’m hoping you exist somewhere in this universe. I’ll vote for you, I’ll blog about you, Facebook you till the cows come home IF:
*You will commit to doing yoga 3 times a week. I don’t care what kind it is…there’s naked yoga…laughing yoga….Hatha yoga…choose one…commit to it 3 times a week. I know you’ll be busy, but you need to take the time to lengthen your muscles and unwind your mind.
*Sign on with Martha Beck as your personal life coach. Yes. You need her. If she’s good enough for Oprah, she’s good enough for you. Shut up and listen to her….she’s cool.
*One day a week you have to a school and have lunch with a kid. Not the popular one, who is easy to like. The one whose Mom forgets about them from time to time…or always. Look at them, listen to them, and NO photo ops. But bring your own lunch. Better yet, bring your own, plus one for every kid in the lunch room. School food sucks the big one.
*You need to get the crappy school food situation fixed. I’m a Mom who makes my kid’s lunch. Most Moms are trying to work and take on half the world’s laundry….it’d be nice for their kids to eat well, too.
*Do the right thing. If it feels wrong in your belly, don’t do it. I don’t care who tells you to. Ask Martha. She’ll shoot you straight.
*None, and I mean NONE of your friends can be politicians. They have to be normal, real people, like plumbers and teachers. I could possibly be persuaded to let you be friends with Jimmy Buffett. That could be good for you.
*You have to listen to Jimmy Buffett at least once a day for 20 minutes. It’s music for your soul, and you are going to need it. This is a deal breaker.
*You have to meditate to Deepak Chopra once every day. You got stress, dude, or dudette….you gotta meditate if you are going to lead this country. I have to, and I’m only really responsible for our dog, and sometimes the children.
*You’ll have to have a strong sense of self, because if you are the person that will do all of the above….you won’t be Mr. Popular. Your country will make fun of you. It’s ok.
Downdog and carry on…and listen to Jimmy.
*Breathe in breathe out move on…sung by the great Jimmy Buffett
***If you have more ideas for our President, make sure to list them here. I can add them to the letter before I send it out into the Universe.