Ok, so this is my friend Lorri, and her gorgeous family. I love this girl, for her heart, her honesty, sense of humor and perfect use of the bandana. She is a writer, who has been developing her voice….one that I can’t get enough of. Lorri writes from the very depths of her soul, and I cannot tell you how grateful I am for her friendship. She posted this beautiful piece of raw emotion on Facebook yesterday, and with her permission, I am sharing it with you. Enjoy.

 

I said the dumbest thing the other day. I’ve been cringing for days. The only thing I can think to do is just tell you all about it in hopes that my mind will stop returning to it, kind of like when you burn the roof of your mouth and your tongue keeps finding the tender spot over and over and over again. Ugh, it doesn’t feel that good so please just make it stop.

Let it go.

I took Zach to the dentist to get a tooth pulled. Drama and tears ensued. Patience waned. Nitrous oxide prevailed. As the effects of the nitrous overcame Zach, he was pretty happy.

This is the moment, people.

The moment that I could have just shut up and been relieved that it was finally going well. I don’t know why I said what I said. All I can think is that I have an uncontrollable need to make Zach, my brilliant, hilarious and very stubborn son who is on the autism spectrum, step out of his rigid judgments and see things in a new way. If an opportunity presents itself that I can shine a new light on something that he is very black and white about, I do it. It’s a compulsion born of many, many discussions-arguments-debates over everything from drywall textures to Wall-E to fish (he’s a nofishetarian).

It’s a reflex, if you will.

It’s the only excuse I have for what came next. So as Zach was dreamily talking about how relaxed he felt and how awesome the gas was, I said, “You know how you say you’re never going to drink a beer? This is kind of why people drink alcohol.”

Yes. That’s right. I was promoting alcohol to my 13-year-old son.

In front of two professional adults. As soon as the words were out I wanted to reel them back in. They landed like a turd on the floor. Thankfully, Zach saved me by saying something funny and rambling. He said, “OK, I’ll drink beer…no, never mind, I’m never going to drink alcohol. It smells terrible. I’ll just go to the dentist…” HAHAHAHAHAhahahahehehehehahahaha. Ha. Heh. heh. (stupid. stupid. stupid.)

I mean, I can’t call my dentist and explain where I was coming from, right? Right? (“You know he has autism, he’s just so black and white about everything…” Subtext: “Please, Dr. Dentist and your nice assistant, please don’t judge me or call anyone because I tried to convince my 13-year-old that beer is good.”)

Say something.

Anything.

Make it go away.

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17 thoughts on “Love and Other Drugs

  1. this is great stuff, I only wish that when I have children they can be as witty as this boy. And also I don’t think she should feel stupid over it, it’s clear her son is mature enough so who cares what the dentist says? Personally I would much rather keep it real yo’ [inner gansta talking]

  2. We all have those moments where we say or do stuff that’s… maybe not our shining moment. At one of my low points, I threw a zucchini against the wall. Luckily there was no one standing there to judge me except for me.

  3. I laughed as I read this because this is soo damn normal. We all say stupid stuff that we think is a teaching moment. don’t sweat it. Her son sounds absolutely awesome!
    Beautiful family too

  4. I can’t count the number of dumb things I have said I wish I had never said — or the dumb things I did that I now regret. But they don’t define us: we are defined by the positive marks we leave behind, not the mistakes.

  5. oh, poor love. tell her not to give herself such a hard time. and stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. She knows that she wasn’t trying to convert her 13 year old son into a teen-drinker – who cares what everyone else thinks 🙂

  6. Oh the things we say under stress and duress! (I’ve worked in the dental field for 14 years and can assure your friend many people say the funniest and strangest things while there -it seems to just bring it all out on display!!) Thanks for the laugh!!

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