The Littlest

My baby. Who isn’t really a baby after all.

Something was wrong.

But what, I couldn’t be sure.

One day, I realized, I was waiting for him.

I had been told these days were past.

Have you ever missed someone you’ve never met?

I found a prayer in the back of a well-read newspaper at the coffee shop, a novena to Mother Mary.

I stole the newspaper.

Pray it once a day for three days it said.

On the fourth day, your prayer will be answered clearly.

I said it 3 times a day.

For three days.

When something is missing, you’ll do anything to find it.

On the fourth day, my phone went off.

A new voicemail from an old friend.

A garbled message that cut in and out with a song in the background.

One she thought I might like.

You’ll Be Blessed, by Elton John

Hey you, you’re a child in my head

You haven’t walked yet

Your first words have yet to be said

But I swear you’ll be blessed

I know you’re still just a dream

your eyes might be green

Or the bluest that I’ve ever seen

Anyway you’ll be blessed

And you, you’ll be blessed

You’ll have the best

I promise you that

I’ll pick a star from the sky

Pull your name from a hat

I promise you that, promise you that, promise you that

You’ll be blessed

I need you before I’m too old

To have and to hold

To walk with you and watch you grow

And know that you’re blessed

I stopped everything.

I listened.

I cried.

I knew.

2 weeks later I felt dizzy when I stood up from tucking my little girl in for the night.

My blessing was born 8 months later.

When I questioned my friend about the message, I could hear her puzzled expression over the phone.

“Lis…I left you that message 6 months ago!”