I peek at the Caller ID and pick up the phone. A forceful gust of air escapes that had just seconds before, been held tightly in my chest.
“Hey!”, a perky voice calls out.
“Oh hey. Damn I’m glad it’s you.” I bleat into the receiver.
“Oh no. Ok. what’s going on?”
“You know. It’s one of THOSE days. Struggling with my energy.” my voice shaky and small.
“I’m listening, Guid.”she murmurs, with the voice I’ve known since Kindergarten.
My muscles unclench, and I launch into my story.
She, my trusted friend and keeper of all secrets(even the embarrassing and shameful kind) knows exactly what I mean when I say, “struggling with my energy“. She understands it to mean I’m not feeling my happiest and hopeful-est. And people have labels for it: depressed, sad, down, cranky, crabby, grumpy, stressed, take your pick. Unless you are a robot, you get me here, right? And I’ve been known to use those words, too. But, when I connect with “the Guidos“…my two best friends from school….I get a completely different lingo going. I’ve come to realize that I talk to them very differently from the way I talk to anyone else.
I can talk freely to them about Vision Boards, Buzzing(not the kind you get from alcohol), raking over their children’s energy, and the concept of multiple lifetimes. And they don’t bat an eye. Despite that we all went to the very same Catholic Church all of our lives. Baptized, confirmed, and all three of us even married in the exact church of our childhood that we marched together to, every Wednesday after school for Catechism. Even with our rigid upbringing , they bounce their ever-growing and changing knowledge of spiritual understanding right back to me, and we explore it together like an enchanted forest.
And sometimes we have to agree to disagree.
“Lis. Are you telling me, an axe murderer of small children is ….GOING TO HEAVEN?!”
“Yes, Guido. Yes. There is no such thing as Hell. There’s only LESSONS. And don’t forget sacred contracts! “
“Well, that IS true. I forgot about the contract thing. That COULD be. But, no Hell? That’s a hard one.”
“Axe murdering really is horrid, I know. But you never know if that guy came FOR someone else’s learning, you know? We are spirits, that happen to be human.”
….the crunching of celery….or some kind of nutritious vegetable comes through the line…words partially distorted..”Yes. I DO like that. Spirits first, humans second. Food for thought.”
“What are fixing for supper? I got nothing. Nada.”
“grooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. I don’t know. Maybe cereal again?”
“Cereal sounds like a plan. It’s got nutrients! Cereal shouldn’t just be for breakfast.”
And so it goes. We flit back and forth between very deep thoughts, to the perils of mundane family life. It occurred to me today, a person listening into our conversation would be completely confused, and may wonder if we are talking in code. And I guess we kind of are. We really don’t “gossip“, as I know our husbands imagine us to. No sirreeee BOB….we are onto much bigger things than So and So’s bad boob job, or What’s-His-Names Scandalous affair with his dental hygienist. We cut through all the bull crap of life and get right to the nitty-gritty. We read the same authors “of the light” as we call them, and use their words to guide us through what we all agree to be a sort of “Earth School” (as Carolyn Myss likes to refer to our human experience). And then, like the whispering girls of study hall from long ago, we sort it all out.
I had one of those heart-to-heart discussions with one of the Guidos today. It moved me so much, I wrote a poem. I cried, and wrote, and then I thanked God for a friend to guide me through my “struggling energy“. I was looking at the world through my smallest lens. I needed to be reminded of the big picture, and sometimes it’s me doing the reminding. But today it wasn’t, and I’m totally cool with that. As Carolyn would say, you need Soul Companions. We weren’t meant to do this walk by ourselves.
As the end of November the month of thankfuls looms, I want to go on record: Thank God for my Soul Companions.
P.S. You may wonder why I call them the Guidos. That’s another tale my dear readers♥