The Ugly Truth

Hello Dear Friends/Friends I haven’t met yet/People who will read this and instantly hate me:

As I was doing my morning chat with my best friend since Kindergarten and simultaneously cleaning out my closet, I had a mini revelation. I have a lot of those while talking to my Dawn friend, who knows me through and through and isn’t afraid to call BullSh*t on me. And the same goes for me with her. We both know how much we love each other, and neither of us is going anywhere.

Cue the Wind beneath my wings song right here.

We were talking about my blogging…or rather lack there of. I mean, what’s going on? My kids are back in school….it’s me, the dog and dust bunnies as far as the eye can see. Why less blogging?

I’ve come to it, and I’ll tell you, and then you can get out your voodoo dolls that have blonde hair and freckles on the nose and stick sharp pins in my eyes and feet to your heart’s content.

I am reluctant to even step foot on WordPress to write a post, because I don’t have time to make it to all my blogging friend’s lovely posts. The tried and true friends that either leave kind comments, or LIKE my post, or both. And I feel like if I don’t have time to be kind to them, how can I feel ok about posting?

And so I haven’t been.

Not that I don’t have ideas brewing….like the nasty horrible awful show I found myself watching last night about  Not SoLittle Honey Redneck Queen…or something like that…or my thoughts on politics…(It’s not exactly the kind of post you might imagine, as it involves energy and our future president committing to yoga at least 3 times a week)…or yada yada yada….I could go on.

I seriously don’t know how to do this. I didn’t expect blogging to be a community, to find friends that I wish I could do a beam me up Scotty trick to get to them and hug their real bodies and look at their real faces when they smile. I don’t want to let any of them down, but I’m finding myself writing LESS…and supposedly I started blogging, to get better at writing.

I need to work!

Which means, I need to write. AND…read other people’s writing, and take notes. All of which I am willing to do, but the UGLY truth is, I just don’t always have time to do it all.

I know a blogger on WordPress, and I don’t follow her anymore, but she was getting tons of likes. I noticed that on all sorts of blogs I would visit, she had left her calling card. I figured it out. She was BUYING votes. Kinda like Marsha Brady did that one time when she was running for student council, except she paid her voters in Oatmeal Raisen cookies.

How sad. Either she spent 80 hours on WordPress enjoying reading and liking 78 blogs a day, or she was doing it as an end to a means. I’ve never approached blogging that way, and I don’t want to start.  And I am  really hoping other people feel that same way, because I may not be able to make it to all my blogging friends every time I post. Which means if other people don’t get to every one of my posts, I totally understand. I don’t want people to feel obligated to pop over to my blog because I LIKED something of theirs. It’s not tit for tat, or at least it shouldn’t be.

If anyone has some words of wisdom here, I would really appreciate it. I wish I had 2 hours a day to spend on the computer…but with my crazy life, I’m lucky to find time to actually cook something for my children other than fruit loops. Blogging isn’t anything like I thought it would be, and I don’t want to get out of it…but I’m just not sure if I have time for it. If you have other thoughts, set me straight. I may go in a corner and cry, but I’ll eventually be ok.


47 thoughts on “The Ugly Truth

  1. I think you need to cut yourself some slack here. You don’t need to feel responsible for checking every post of any of your blogger friends! We just read because we like what you have to say, not hoping for anything in return. I say, write – and then visit other blogs if you get some extra time. I have found that it works for me to have a small number of folks who I am really religious about reading and then visiting others when I have time. And sometimes I visit one that is not on my short list and find I want to see everything they ever wrote. But this is supposed to be fun – don’t let it become a chore!! I’ll be here waiting for your fun, funny, spunky words whenever you have time to write them. Hang in there, my friend!! You are a blogging rock star who has been FP’d!! Now give yourself a break!

  2. I totally get it. It’s one of the reasons I can’t wrap my brain around starting another blog quite yet. I hate the “selling yourself” part of it. Write to express. Period. There are those who read and want reciprocation. But there are far more who read simply because they want you to be part of their day. They like what you have to say. Tons of us out there. Not just fellow bloggers. 🙂 Heart you muchly, friend.

  3. Lis you are a blogger first and a reader second. I mean if we all read every single post that we followed let alone commented on them we would not have time to write ourselves. Dont be too hard on yourself – I stepped back from reading every post a while back because I was reading for 7 hours a day LOL its taken my a few months to finally realise that the number of followers one has does not equate to the number of readers and thats fine I will continue to do what I do and if they like it they will read it and comment, if not I will create loads of fake facebook profiles and comment using them 😀 I kid I kid!!!!

  4. As someone who does not blog and only follows one blogger (you), I hope you do not stop writing! I agree with what “newsofthetimes” says. Focus on writing when you have time…and then after that, read when time allows. But most of all- leave the guilt behind…it’s too heavy of a burden and it doesn’t suit you 🙂

  5. Lis, you know I feel the same and I think everyone goes through this. It can take over everything if you let it and that’s not good either. I don’t take offense if you don’t comment or like when I post, so don’t worry about that. If I ever do, I’ll email you personally and let you know, okay?? :). Do what ya gotta do, people understand. Still, I do love to read your posts. ;). xxoo

    • Dear Brig,
      I know you. I know your heart. And you know I look forward to your emails, right?
      They make me feel special. If someone came up on me in the middle of responding…and asked..who ya emailin? I could say..Oh…you Writer Friend Brigitte, that lives in NEW YORK.
      That one.
      Love, Lis
      P.S. I am still loving your happy cow post from yesterday. I cannot describe how HAPPY it made me!!! For real!!!

  6. Please don’t stop writing Lis! I only ever write for myself – it’s why I started. I see the blogging community as one of shared interest, not of reciprocation – I’ll like yours if you like mine. Maybe it is to some people, but not for me. Don’t feel guilty about not being able to please everyone – so like a woman!

  7. You worry too much Lis! Blog when you have time, post what you love and read what you like! I’ve never expected followers but now have such lovely support that it makes me realise that I must be doing something right. I only have chance to post twice a week at the most and, like you, I’m not able to visit everyone (a bit like relatives at Christmas!!). You have a unique voice so continue to sing x

  8. Hi Lisa,

    I know where you’re coming from. I feel guilty when someone I follow likes one of my posts if I haven’t visited their blog recently. I’ve also noticed people leaving their calling cards all over the freshly pressed pages (not that I visit them much nowadays), but like you, I find this a bit disingenuous!

    I know we’re all blogging to be read, but you started your blog to improve your writing, so that should be your main goal without feeling guilty about reciprocating likes and follows, etc.

    So, stick to it, I say.


    • Dear Darren,
      THAT’s the word I couldn’t think of!
      It’s true. I never want to come off that way…it’s been one of my biggest fears in blogging.
      I will stick to it, and thanks so much for your words.
      Love, Lis

  9. That’s really interesting, I have a similar problem in the way that I log on and then I decided to have a quick scan of what everyone else has written. 2 hours later I realise I don’t have any time to write haha. One post a week and I write it in bits during lunch, it’s the only way I can do it now, 😉

  10. Miss Lisa,
    You started blogging for a reason…to write.
    I bet you didn’t even think anyone would read it but you did it anyway.
    Stop worrying about the rest of us and blog for yourself!
    I’ll still read what you write because you are good and I don’t expect anything in return! 🙂

  11. I don’t think anyone expects anyone to read every post. I follow about 60 blogs, and treat it kinda like a radio. I basically read whatever catches my eye, and/or who I’m in the mood to read. I don’t follow everyone who follows me because I find it tricky enough following 60 blogs. I’ve tried to winnow it down, but then I’ll find someone new…

    As for the writing aspect, I’m a slow writer. So typically, I need time to myself to think through and conclude post. And lately I’m not getting enough of that. So, the notebook is full of stuff, and yet the blog is slowing down tremendously.

    • Dear L&L,
      I LOVE that. I sincerely do. LIke a RADIO!!!
      The problem for me, is I whip somehthing out…and push PUBLISH. I need to get better at doing a rough draft…reworking sentences…yada yada.
      I’m just not a patient girl!!!!
      Thanks for weighing in.
      Love, LIs

  12. Lisa, you’ve heard your fans. Keep writing. People will understand if you don’t visit their blogs as often. Everyone has stuff they need to do outside of WordPress. It’s okay! Just don’t shortchange yourself of writing if you really want to do it. Forget about the issue of visiting other blogs–just write and make yourself happy. 🙂

  13. Do what you feel comfortable doing – people won’t judge you for not reading everything – if they do then you should not be worrying about their reaction which essentially will be a load of, yep you’ve guessed it, Bollocks!

  14. Lis, The hell with others! Write when you feel like it and write what you feel. Read other blogs if and when you have the time and if people don’t like it that’s THEIR problem, not yours! It’s supposed to be fun and a way to keep the mind alive. So stay with it — on your own terms!! 🙂

  15. I read this last night AND I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT EVER SINCE.

    And that is why you should continue to write.

    I could go on and on but it’s really that simple. Your posts are heartfelt, funny, beautiful, and honest. But most importantly, they make me think.

    Thank you for sharing,

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