Yesterday was a powerful kind of day. I got through a killer workout, had supper all whipped up in the afternoon so that all I had to do was warm it up….and I hacked into my children’s school records.
Just kidding about that last part. But that’s sort of what it felt like. At our school, we have something called “Parent Portal”. You are given a code, and then you have access to every assignment your child has done, what their exact score was, their grade up to this point, and what they had for lunch. (I’m not even kidding).
When I picked the Firstborn up from Volleyball, I couldn’t wait…could not WAIT to drop this bomb on her. And as luck would have it, she walked right into my web.
Firsty girl: So. Before you say a word…Good, No, Good, but the Volleyball net broke.
Old girl: Huh?
Firsty: You always ask ‘How was your day?’ Then you say, ‘Do you have any homework?’ and then you ask, ‘How was practice?’ See? I was just saving time.
Old: Oh ya?
Firsty: Always. You are so predictable Mom.
I’d like to take a break in the dialogue here to help you visualize what is going down in our sensible- for- a -family- but- not- cool- in- the- least mini van. All this time, my lovely daughter is bent over her phone, checking texts, responding to them..wrapped up in the cleverness that is her. I however, am in stealth mode, like a cat ready to pounce on a poor unsuspecting mouse.
Old: Huh. So, that quiz you took this afternoon…tough one, eh?
The girl drops her phone in her lap and whips that head around so fast, I’m surprised she’s not in a neck brace today.
Firsty: HOW did you know that?
Old: I got my ways. Now, let’s hear about that quiz. (My inner Nancy Drew is doing the rumba.)
Well, it took her about 2 minutes to figure out that I had gotten on Parent Portal. She was surprised I went through all the red tape to gain access (Because it really is the equivalent of getting a passport to China)…but resigned to her fate of never being able to keep her school life private.
All I can say, is I am really grateful for the lack of technology back in the day:
Facebook: Oh good gravy. In the hands of a young Lisa, it would have been disastrous. It’s bad enough in the hands of an old Lisa.
Parent Portal: Oh dear. My poor Mother.