The Walls Have Eyes

Nancy Drew (2007 film)

Yesterday was  a powerful kind of day.  I got through a killer workout, had supper all whipped up in the afternoon so that all I had to do was warm it up….and I hacked into my children’s school records.

Just kidding about that last part. But that’s sort of what it felt like. At our school, we have something called “Parent Portal”. You are given a code, and then you have access to every assignment your child has done, what their exact score was, their grade up to this point, and what they had for lunch. (I’m not even kidding).

When I picked the Firstborn up from Volleyball, I couldn’t wait…could not WAIT to drop this bomb on her. And as luck would have it, she walked right into my web.

Firsty girl: So. Before you say a word…Good, No, Good, but the Volleyball net broke.

Old girl: Huh?

Firsty: You always ask ‘How was your day?’ Then you say, ‘Do you have any homework?’ and then you ask, ‘How was practice?’ See? I was just saving time.

Old: Oh ya?

Firsty: Always. You are so predictable Mom.

I’d like to take a break in the dialogue here to help you visualize what is going down in our sensible- for- a -family- but- not- cool- in- the- least mini van. All this time, my lovely daughter is bent over her phone, checking texts, responding to them..wrapped up in the cleverness that is her. I however, am in stealth mode, like a cat ready to pounce on a poor unsuspecting mouse.

Old: Huh. So, that quiz you took this afternoon…tough one, eh?


The girl drops her phone in her lap and whips that head around so fast, I’m surprised she’s not in a neck brace today.

Firsty: HOW did you know that?

Old: I got my ways. Now, let’s hear about that quiz. (My inner Nancy Drew is doing the rumba.)

Well, it took her about 2 minutes to figure out that I had gotten on Parent Portal. She was surprised I went through all the red tape to gain access (Because it really is the equivalent of getting a passport to China)…but resigned to her fate of never being able to keep her school life private.

All I can say, is I am really grateful for the lack of technology back in the day:

Facebook: Oh good gravy. In the hands of a young Lisa, it would have been disastrous. It’s bad enough in the hands of an old Lisa.

Texting: Crikey.

Parent Portal: Oh dear. My poor Mother.


11 thoughts on “The Walls Have Eyes

    • Dear Jenni,
      O man!! I have MISSED you!!!!!
      Are you back for real now?????
      Teen dating with facebook. My relationship status: It’s complicated. That’s what it always would have been!!!!
      So nice to see you friend. YOu have been soooooooooo MISSED!!!!!
      Love, Lis

      • 🙂 Back for real…we got back last night so I am still a little tired, but so happy to jump back in and catch up with all of you!! I missed you all a ton – although I have to say I was also having the time of my life!!! Stay tuned for stories!!

    • Dear Hugh,
      I actually think it will help. As they get older, all their papers don’t come home…I don’t pick them up from their classroom and chat with their teachers, like I did in Elementary.
      Love, Lis

  1. Boom is right! I would hate to be growing up with my parents knowing every darn grade I got.. but is super fun as a parent to squash the buggers, isn’t it?

In the latest scientific study, people who comment on blogs are 96% sexier than those who don't.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s