I’m a wanna be meditator. Have been for a long time, even before I read Eat, Pray, Love…a book that will convince you if nothing else will, to get into the practice of meditation.
I mean look what happened! The woman ended up having more sex than Hugh Hefner, generated money out of thin air, and ate the whole country of Italy without having to resort to clothes shopping at the local Tent and Awning…. ALL of this from sitting cross-legged, in complete stillness and resisting the temptation to swat at flies on her face.
I’ve tried it. Over and over again. In case you are curious….I would be the guy on the LEFT. The longer I sit still….the more I say…”For the love of Pete…shut UP!”….the more my brain talks back: “What? I got stuff to say!” How do you think of NOTHING?
HOW?!
I would seriously love to know. I’m not ready to sit cross-legged in my backyard with bugs flying around yet…so I’ve been doing Deepak Chopra’s guided mediations from the comfort of my soft couch.
I read somewhere that this is totally cheating, which cracks me up. I’ve cheated on tests, taxes, and diets….may as well add Meditation to the list, right?
I guess because Deepak is talking, and I’m listening to his voice….letting it distract me from my tornado of disconnected thoughts…that it’s not the same thing as quieting your mind without anyone else’s help. The goal, is to make thoughts like….”I wonder if that shirt is still on sale at Banana Republic” or “I should really cut back on Diet Coke…my right hand is shaking” or…”Did I brush my teeth this morning?” go away.
By YOURSELF.
Seems hardcore.
I can’t do it yet. Oh well, so I need to meditate with training wheels on for a while…or maybe even forever. I’m cool with that, and here’s why: My days always go better when I chill out on my couch and listen to Deepak for 5 minutes. FIVE. That’s all it takes. My soul seems to do a happy dance from just a tiny break from tangled, sometimes stressful thoughts. Who cares if I’m cheating? Sometimes it’s the only way to get the job done…..kinda like the way Katie Holmes pulled a fast one on Tom Cruise (the weirdo).
Anyhow, if you’re so inclined to join the world of Back Alley Meditation, I’ve included Deepak’s heart meditation….I have others….but this one seems to do the trick every time. Eat, Cheat, Love!
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Meditation, while thinking about nothing, sound a lot like sleep to me. I’m good at that.
Dear Jon,
No nonono….Sleeping flies past a misdemeanor….and goes straight to felony in the world of Mediation…..
🙂
Love, LIs
xoxox
What if I’m wearing dark sunglasses? That makes everything better.
Dear B,
Thanks for the mention!!!!
Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!
🙂
Love, Lis
xoxox
LOVE THIS. You are so funny, Lis with just the right amount of feel good. You’re right though, if you take the time to DO IT, it does make things better. I used to try to sit for 10 minutes and I’ve got some groovy chant music that’s not too chanty, if you know what I mean.
You’ve inspired me to do it again. xxoo. Have a lovely weekend.
Dear B,
Thank you friend!!1
🙂
Ya…chanty is no good. Reminds me of church…which sends me into a fit of giggles.
🙂
Love, Lis
xoxox
The Church of Chanty? Never heard of it. I’m guessing many monks reside there tho.
Dear b,
Catholics can be chanty.
🙂
Love, L
xooxx
I’m just kidding around here. No prob. See, here’s a smiley face: :).
Dear B,
Get over here.
I just brewed coffee.
♥♥♥
Love, L
xoxoxox
see ya in 10. xxoo. i mentioned you in my blog and i haven’t seen you over there. i’m just sayin.
Love, B
What?! I commented!!!!!
ARe you kidding me???
What who when?? I don’t see ya there, girl. something is happening with my freaking wordpress blog. I’ve been having issues and been talking to the engineers about some funky stuff. are you saying you did comment or you’re just giving into the guilt thing I’m putting on you and you’re doing that now.
don’t make me come over there.
Dear B,
Something is rotten in Denmark.
I’m just sayin.
🙂
Love, Lis
xoxox
GRRRR.
Dear B,
I smell funny.
The more I think about it…I think it’s me.
I am not commenting from my phone anymore.
🙂
Love, Lis
xox
You are losing your mind. Look in garbage where your yoga pants are or look in the closet where your garbage is. :D. Funny girl.
xxoo
i thought that said eat cheese love! sigh maybe i should clean my glasses more often
dEar Moose,
OR…maybe it means you should eat more cheese?
Just a thought.
🙂
Love, Lis
xoxo
cheese and IBS is not a good mix believe me 😀
Dear Moosey.
BAHAHAHHAHAA!!!!!
O dear.
Yes..stay away from dairy.
🙂
Love, lis
xoxo
now you know why i thought it said cheese got it on the brain lol xxx
Dear Moose,
YOu know what cracks me up?
When people say…..”I like _____________…..but _____ doesn’t like ME!!!”
As a kid, I was always confused, as to how a food could NOT like you.
🙂
Lis
ha ha well i can honestly say cheese hates me!
I never could meditate. I can’t get my brain to turn off….not even for five minutes! So it goers…:)
dear Hugh,
If I knew as much as you do, I would have a harder time turning my brain off!!
As it is, my thoughts are small and mundane….not as tricky to shut down.
🙂
Love, Lis
xoxo
what a coincidence, I did my own version of this story http://farsidetravel.net/2012/09/07/eat-pray-love-i-havent-read-it-yet/ , and caused lots of jealously along the way !
dear Far,
I’ll have to check it out!!!
Thanks for reading!
🙂
Love, Lis
xoxox
Hi Lis , yes i enjoyed your story and was a coincidence!
Thanks for popping by! xox
It’s not cheating, Lis. Who cares how you get there as long as you do? I absolutely cannot meditate in the morning. I just can’t shut my brain up. After 10 is good 🙂
Dear Sara,
Somehow it does not surprise me in the least that you are a Meditator!!!!!
🙂
Love, Lis
xoxo
Can’t do it – just have fits of giggles – there must be somethng wrong. Can you do a bit for me Sunday morn? – it might just work when I’m out for a run. But you would probably have to be up at 3 am your time so perhaps not a good idea.
Dear Ginger,
Are you asking me to meditate or go to church for you?
ANd…whatever the case, I am out like a light at 3am.
🙂
Love, LIs
xoxo
Oh well – think of me giggling as I give it a go (Meditating that is – but if you want to pray for me great – I need as many as I can get!).
Dear Ging,
me too!!!!
🙂
Love, Cobblers
xoox
Hi Lis!! Great post!! If loving Deepak is wrong, I don’t want to be right!! Miss you!!!!
Hehehe, I loved Eat, Pray, love and it also gave me an impulse to meditate. I tried. But it is uncomfortable, weird and it takes a lot of time. Maybe i should try cheating instead 🙂
Dear C,
Yes!!! It gets er done!!!
Fake it till you make it I say!!!
♥♥♥
Love, L
xoxo