Wouldn’t it be fun to have WordPress Police? I’m envisioning them in full police garb…with a strong coffee and a sugar donut in one hand…and clicking around on their laptops with their other.
Actually, I’ll bet the WordPress Police wouldn’t be enjoying coffee and donuts while typing furiously away at the keyboard. I’m betting on Lattes and Scones. I don’t know, but it seems more scholarly.
The vision I have, is you are typing away, and all the sudden, your screen starts to flash, and you hear…WiiiiiWooooooWiiiiiWoooooo. You get a notification that looks like this $. Sorry, Mam, could you step outta your blog for a second?
Everyone knows if you have police, you must have fines. Otherwise those guys don’t get paid.
I’ve come up with a few of my own:
- Using to when you mean ALSO. I went to the store. Oh! you did? I want to go, too. Seems like a tricky concept to some folks. When you’ve had it drilled into your head since 3rd grade….it can be grating on one’s nerves when you see this flagrant law breaking. Fine: $50 or Sentencing : a post where you write your new understanding of the words to, and too.
- Not having an ABOUT page. When you click on some blogger’s ABOUT…it says..”This is an example of a WordPress Page”. To me, this is like not having your insurance card on you when you are driving. Fine: $100 or Sentencing: You have to make your about page using no less than 500 words. Extra Credit: Cheesy pictures of you when you were a kid.
- Clicking LIKE on someones’ blog, only to lure them over to YOUR blog. You may think no one is on to your dastardly deeds. Think again. Fine: $300 or Sentencing: You must write a detailed post about all of your new blogs you’ve found, and why you love them so.
- Ignoring people who comment on your blog. To me, this is the Grandaddy of all Blogging crimes. If someone takes the time to comment on your blog, unless you are a ROCKSTAR traveling on the road and putting on concerts every night, you should have the decency to at least reply back. It takes time to comment, and let’s face it, there are tons of blogs out there. The fact that someone takes the time to type on yours, is a big deal. I’ve heard the woes of…”I just get so many comments!”. My response? “Are you for real?” or “Get OVER yourself!”
This is a two paragraph crime. Yes, it’s your blog, and you can do whatever you want. I just think it is the height of rudeness. When I started blogging, I was so shocked at the people who DON’T respond.
Until my friend, Dotty Headbanger replied to a comment I made on one of her posts….I was about ready to pack up my stuff and leave this hard cruel WordPress world. And since then, I’ve found there to be a lot of wonderful bloggers out there who get 100’s of comments, and they still find time to respond. It doesn’t have to be a huge paragraph. Sometimes they just :). The smiley face is quite lovely.
This has turned into a four paragraph crime. Fine: $500 or Sentencing: One must reply to all new comments, unless creepy (like the guy that inspired THIS POST, or suffer loss of all followers. OR for Serial Ignorers…you’ll be sent to THIS GUY:
What do you think, dear bloggers? Are there any crimes I missed?
*If I ever accidentally commit any of these crimes, you have my permission to throw the book….or Press at me.
***Let the Record show: I do not have any bloggers who commit these crimes on my I Got Friends page. They are all squeaky clean.
- Do NOT push that button (carrpartyoffive.wordpress.com)