WordPress Police

Wouldn’t it be fun to have WordPress Police? I’m envisioning them in full police garb…with a strong coffee and a sugar donut in one hand…and clicking around on their laptops with their other.

Actually, I’ll bet the WordPress Police wouldn’t be enjoying coffee and donuts while typing furiously away at the keyboard.  I’m betting on Lattes and Scones. I don’t know, but it seems more scholarly. Latte

The vision I have, is you are typing away, and all the sudden, your screen starts to flash, and you hear…WiiiiiWooooooWiiiiiWoooooo. You get a notification that looks like this $.  Sorry, Mam, could you step outta your blog for a second?
Everyone knows if you have police, you must have fines. Otherwise those guys don’t get paid.

I’ve come up with a few of my own:

  • Using to when you mean ALSO. I went to the store. Oh! you did? I want to go, too. Seems like a tricky concept to some folks. When you’ve had it drilled into your head since 3rd grade….it can be grating on one’s nerves when you see this flagrant law breaking. Fine: $50 or Sentencing : a post where you write your new understanding of the words to, and too.
  • Not having an ABOUT page. When you click on some blogger’s ABOUT…it says..”This is an example of a WordPress Page”. To me, this is like not having your insurance card on you when you are driving. Fine: $100 or Sentencing: You have to make your about page using no less than 500 words. Extra Credit: Cheesy pictures of you when you were a kid.
  • Clicking LIKE on someones’ blog, only to lure them over to YOUR blog. You may think no one is on to your dastardly deeds. Think again. Fine: $300 or Sentencing: You must write a detailed post about all of your new blogs you’ve found, and why you love them so.
  • Ignoring people who comment on your blog. To me, this is the Grandaddy of all Blogging crimes. If someone takes the time to comment on your blog, unless you are a ROCKSTAR traveling on the road and putting on concerts every night, you should have the decency to at least reply back. It takes time to comment, and let’s face it, there are tons of blogs out there. The fact that someone takes the time to type on yours, is a big deal. I’ve heard the woes of…”I just get so many comments!”. My response? “Are you for real?” or “Get OVER yourself!”

This is a two paragraph crime. Yes, it’s your blog, and you can do whatever you want. I just think it is the height of rudeness. When I started blogging, I was so shocked at the people who DON’T respond.
Until my friend, Dotty Headbanger replied to a comment I made on one of her posts….I was about ready to pack up my stuff and leave this hard cruel WordPress world. And since then, I’ve found there to be a lot of wonderful bloggers out there who get 100’s of comments, and they still find time to respond.  It doesn’t have to be a huge paragraph. Sometimes they just :). The smiley face is quite lovely.

English: A smiley by Pumbaa, drawn using a tex...

This has turned into a four paragraph crime. Fine: $500 or Sentencing: One must reply to all new comments, unless creepy (like the guy that inspired THIS POST, or suffer loss of all followers. OR for Serial Ignorers…you’ll be sent to THIS GUY:

So you like to ignore people? You think You’re BETTER than them?
I didn’t think so.

What do you think, dear bloggers? Are there any crimes I missed?

*If I ever accidentally commit any of these crimes, you have my permission to throw the book….or Press at me.

***Let the Record show: I do not have any bloggers who commit these crimes on my I Got Friends page. They are all squeaky clean.


58 thoughts on “WordPress Police

  1. Those are all pet peeves of mine as well. When I put up a piece and it has been in cyberspace for literally 3.2 seconds and I get a like I want to harm that person. They could not have possibly read what just felt like a lifetime to create.

  2. THIS is something that should be Freshly Pressed.

    I agree with everything you wrote, Lisa. Another peeve of mine is bloggers with many regular followers and commenters but who seem to never comment on anyone else’s blogs. I’ve noticed this on occasion when I’ve just surfed WP—I’ll stumble across a blog with a fairly sizeable following, with comments from plenty of people I’m familiar with. Yet the blogger him/herself is completely unknown to me because I have never seen that person’s comments or Gravatar anywhere, ever. At all. How can you just post blogs and collect followers and comments without feeling the need to explore and comment on other people’s work? I’m talking about people who don’t even press the “Like” button. Maybe they read other blogs and just don’t like or comment, but I think that’s pretty poor manners, frankly.

    I don’t know, is that petty?

    • Dear M,
      This whole post is probably petty.
      But, I totally agree with you!!!!
      I would like to say….I see you, Margarita, and Brigitte everywhere. You guys are my heros.
      I want to be like you guys when I grow up.
      Love, Lis

    • I have a pet peeve about the ‘likers’ who lure as well Lisa.

      And Mme. Weebles this isn’t petty, this gets my goat too! Yeah what Lisa says — these people think they’re ‘rockstars.’ I understand that some people have so many followers that they don’t get to stop by regularly, but at least those people do show up and comment on some of their follower’s posts. I follow and comment on a few of these regularly because of a genuine appreciation and interest and I don’t care so much that they don’t show up on mine. While I don’t unfollow often, and not for the same reasons, there have been just under a handful of bloggers that I just don’t like that I’ve had to unfollow. Their personality quirks were too much for me to take!

      Whew! Sorry Lisa for venting. This post inspired a lot of thought.

    • Dear Madame,
      Thank you for the “this should be Fresh pressed”. I didn’t address that, I see. Been in a bit of a rush. It really means so much coming from you!!!
      Love, Lis

  3. Great list. et’s see if I can think of any to add. How about people who comment just to put their own link to their blog in the comments section? I love when people link to relevant posts, but it is weird when someone puts the link when it is not related. Fine….???? Not sure. Maybe letting all of us post our link on their page? Oh…and spamming is bad too!

        • Dear Jenni,
          I love calling you Jenni!
          And..Old Fart?
          That is hilarious!
          I know I have to check my spam everyday. For one thing, my regular commenters, like YOU keep ending up in there!!!
          But, then I see all the other ones that should be in their. Jeez!
          What the Heck?
          Not cool.
          Have fun watching the games!! and may the odds be ever in your favor!
          Love, Lis

  4. Lol Lis your funny. I think what you wrote is great to. Hahaha that’s just for my own stupid entertainment 🙂 Should I go back and put [sic] next to my deliberate mistakes? I think not 😛
    What I really came here to say was: thank you for replying to my comments and commenting on my blog at length even though you are such a rock star 🙂

  5. I think that the WordPress police are out there Lisa. Rather than passing a sentence for your crimes they cause the system to crash at inconvenient times… or forget to inform you about new posts from those you follow! 🙂

  6. I’ve just had a cull of some apparent lurers and unfollowed them. Of course, I could be wrong and just not written anything worth liking, but it seems that once they get your follow they never like or comment on any of your posts again.

    • Dear Darren,
      I had a bad run of those, also.
      They come in 3’s. LIke funerals.
      I know it’s hard to get to everyone…there are so many amazing blogs out there.
      But, you can definitely get a feel for the ones that are up to no good.
      Me? I don’t want numbers, I want good people to share thoughts with.
      Thanks for commenting!

  7. This is FP material if there ever was any. Great post!
    I share most of your peeves. One of mine you didn’t mention: overposting. I don’t know if I have an exact limit in mind – one post a day seems more than adequate; some bloggers I follow will sometimes do two a day, but one of them is usually something small – a photo with a quick commentary – but I’ve briefly followed a few blogs that will commonly post 5, 6, 7 entries a day. TOO MUCH! I don’t like every other blog in my feed to be the same person.
    Hope I didn’t offend any multi-bloggers out there 🙂

    • dear Legion,
      I’m alittle bit guilty of this one. I’m not sure why, but if I post a serious, touchy-feely life is wonderful post…I feel the need to do a post that shows the silly, snarky side of me. So, usually, I do 2 posts a day.
      But I feel bad about it.
      And I’m trying to cut back.
      I did a post, where I called myself a Postaholic.
      I kind of am.
      But I totally agree with you!!
      Thanks for stopping by!

  8. wordpress police, why didn’t they think of that?? The list should also include people who do movie/book/music reviews of popular topics to have many tags and get freshly pressed. I mean sometimes they freshly press the good stuff but other days….just total crap yo.

  9. Lis!
    As usualy you are spot on!
    I have to agree with you and a couple of the comments about things I find rude…leaving an irrelevant comment just to get your link on someone else’s blog and over posting! This isn’t twitter for crying out loud! It seems reallybad in my world of fashion related stuff.
    p.s. I think the last photo is what the WP Police should look like. 🙂

    • Dear Laura,
      I love the way you always agree with me.
      And, I know, right?! I l love this picture that Jose’ took. To me, this guy is not to be *trifled* with. 🙂
      This is definitely NOT tweeting. WHich by the way, I don’t really get.
      Love, Lis

      • LOL! Lis, if I didn’t agree with you most of the time I probably wouldn’t follow you!
        Trifling is such bad thing to do in front of the WP Police! I don’t think they will stand for any of that!
        *hopefully you get the sarcasm dripping from your screen with that comment*
        I try tweeting…but I just don’t think I am interesting enough…or clever enough to keep it to 140 characters. 😀

  10. I agree totally. When I first started blogging I followed everybody in sight and I commented on so many blogs that I ran out of time. An experienced blog friend suggested that numbers of followers wasn’t important but genuine friends were, and that I comment two or three times and if I don’t get a reply to unfollow their blog. I didn’t agree with her until fairly recently when I realised I wasn’t reading posts I enjoyed, but merely reading so that I could comment, to which I often received no reply. I also follow way more blogs than the few that follow me.
    I have to decide who to follow and who to read and comment on. Big decisions but I’ve got to get my priorities right, read good blogs and comment when I have something to say.

  11. I couldn’t agree with you more! The real fun of blogging is knowing that others read your blogs and want to respond. The “likes” are fun (when they aren’t a scam) but the comments are especially fun — I even like reading comments others make on someone else’s blog — like yours. I noted above that Jenni ended up in your spam file once or twice: mine too. What’s with that!!?? 🙂

  12. Lis, you have made such excellent points here! I agree with you. The one that annoys me the most is the one about people not responding when someone takes the time to comment on your blog! I’m like you, I do not understand. I understand people have lives and one has to take time off (I did that yesterday!) because I wasn’t feeling that well, but when one receives comments and doesn’t even bother to respond, that’s just rude. And like M. Weebs and Sandee brought up — those with those huge following never comment on others’ blogs. Don’t get it.

    Love this blog and glad you didn’t give up. You just keep getting better and better, friend. Peace. xo

    • Dear B,
      O no!! Not feeling well? I’m sorry:(
      Ya, I don’t understand it, either. Every comment to me is a like a gift.
      I can’t imagine ignoring people.
      I really can’t.
      But, thank you so much for your wonderful words.
      Love, Lis

  13. Ummm, about the ‘About Page’… I don’t think I have one… 2 pages you’ve inspired me to do now…

    When I get to a pc or laptop.

    As for laws… The follow for thirty seconds than unfollow should be included… Much like the like random post law.

    I now wait 30 days before return following unless they are one of the frequent followers or commenters of a blog I am familiar with or got into a comment conversation with them.

    More than 5 reblogs a day should be a crime. Even if your post is a news blog and your following a news event you can combine the reblog.

    Haters / trolls comments should be monitored, not to be confused with difference of opinion (which may lead to heated arguments)

    ‘Alot’ is two words… A lot… ‘As well’ as aswell. I.can understand phone bugger ups, but WordPress has a spell check for posts.

    That is all. Good luck on the follow up post!!

    • Dear John,
      You are a smart guy. That follow thing…is a total problem, and I may have to adopt your practices on that one.
      The random post law? That sounds bad. I’m worried, because I am MOSTLY random.
      I accidentally posted 3 times yesterday, because I couldn’t figure out the thingy to make one of them post later. And I felt bad. I agree, I had to unfollow someone that had that many posts.
      I must cut back!!!!
      And, dang. You got me on A LOT. I ‘m sure spellcheck has saved me, though.
      Bugger UPS.
      That’s hilarious.
      And, what follow up post???
      Talk to you soon Aussie.
      P.S. I am waiting for the ABOUT. I’m sure it’ll be pretty nifty!!!!

      • Part 2 with all the ideas people are giving ya… (Due to being on phone it’s a pain in the ass to read everyone else’s comments on someone’s post all the time and I’d never get to read all the WordPress posts my phone keeps beeping at me… I think I got about 300 remaining WordPress emails to finish)

        I like Sheila’s idea of a hierarchy – could even throw in nominations with you being the “Chief of Blogging police”

        • Dear John,
          Oooooh. I get it now. I can be a little slow on the uptake. 🙂
          Wow. 300 more ON YOUR PHONE?
          Good Lawwwwd man!
          And, I can’t really be the Chief. I suck in leadership positions.
          I was thinking Dotty!!
          Wouldn’t she do well with that?
          Anyhow…good luck picking away at emails on your phone.
          Hurry and get your pC. I’m waiting for a post FROM YOU!!!
          NO pressure, though.

  14. Hello, I feel like I’ve been waiting forever for someone to write this. I didn’t know whether or not it’s OK to call out that sort of behaviour; blogging etiquette an’ all that. There’s two or three bloggers in particular that come to mind as serial perpetrators that ought to be reprimanded…

    I make a point of replying to every comment, and I feel dreadful when I know I won’t be able to immediately for whatever reason.

  15. Dear Lis,
    The blogging police would need more people, like if you are the Chief of Blogging then you need a bunch of deputies. We could go around and disable the offenders blogs if they did not pay or comply. {we could spend the fine money on a lifetime supply of Diet Coke} And as a last resort we could capture the offenders and send them to play in a blog version of The Hunger Games. Don’t think we’ll get anyone saying ‘I volunteer as tribute’, but you never know…

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