The Way it Has to Be

I just had to say good-bye to the Middler. He is going away for a week. I smiled and hugged him and told him to have fun.

He walked out the door and the tears started.

So, I wrote this. And it feels a little better.

The Problem

The problem with loving your kids too much

is it takes every fiber of your being to let them go to a week-long camp away from home.

What if everyone isn’t nice to them? What if they can’t sleep at night, without all the comforts of their bed and perfect pillows? What if they forget to take their medicine?

The problem with loving your kids too much

is every time you look at them, you can see the ghost of the baby you spent so much time rocking. No matter how big they grow, you can always see it even though others cannot.

The problem

is you don’t ever want anything bad to happen to them, and you want to walk around like an invisible bouncer, casting dirty looks that people can feel to some that get mouthy, putting a foot out to trip those that might be mean.

The problem with loving them too much

is you want to freeze this time. Because you’ve never been happier  in all your life. Being a family like this is everything you’ve ever wanted.

The problem

is that you’ve done your job too well. They grow tall and more confident each day. Ready to go into the wild world, without you. To have experiences that you won’t know about or be there to witness.

The problem with loving your kids too much

isn’t really a problem.

It’s the way it has to be.

The problem is

I don’t know any other way to be.

-Lisa A. Carr


22 thoughts on “The Way it Has to Be

  1. There’s no such thing as loving your kids too much, Lis. No matter how much (or little…really?) one may love one’s child, those fledgling flights outside the nest hurt as much as they make us proud. My daughter, all grown up now, no longer rails against my vision of the baby I held in my arms, and still hold in my heart and mind.

    You’re a good mom. He’ll come back with loads of stories about how he handled stuff, and you’ll know you did your job, and you’ll make that tiny shift to the next phase of parenting. And you’ll come back and tell us all about it! xoxoM

      • No, sweetheart, you miss so much with the automatic stuff! The nice thing about shifting is that you can do it one gear at a time!

        Many years ago, I was a young bride the first time around, I needed a car. My then-husband and shopped around and settled on a VW Squareback. I didn’t know how to drive a stick, and he was thrilled because he thought he’d get to play around with my car for a while. We bought the car on a Friday, I drove it to work on Monday. Only car I’ve ever owned.

        You can do it, too. Simple, not easy, and, oh so rewarding! ;D

        With much love and commiseration! xoxoM

  2. I don’t think it’s possible to love your kids too much. The day you stop worrying about them is the day they must worry about 🙂 He’ll survive

  3. Love, love, love!!!! What a beautiful sentiment. I would Freshly Press this! 🙂 You know what? You are doing the right thing. Your middler is going to love camp and you are letting him spread his wings, even though it is hard for you. Well done. What a great mom.

    • Dear News,
      Thank you so much♥
      You are very kind.
      Thank goodness my husband and I balance each other out on this one.
      I would never have let these children do anything if it weren’t for him. I’m happy for their independence, I really am.
      Love, Lis

  4. what a great post, my eldest has just got back from Finland he went on his own… i don’t think I slept at all while he was away. But when he got back, he wondered what all the fuss was about…kids hey 🙂

  5. Beautifully put. It took me back to when my two sons were young and growing up and how I worried about how they would cope later on. They have done well and we have those memories. But it was a nervous time. Thanks for the post!

  6. I meant to tell you earlier this week that this blog hit home with me too! Great emotion captured. It is an amazing job God charged you with and you are doing awesome!

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