I Hope You Don’t Mind

I’m remembering lately. I have one foot here, and one foot there.

Do you remember your blue barracuda that we rode “the loop” in, self-proclaimed king and queen of everything….in our small town? Of course you do. You still talk about that car.

Do you remember me crying all the way to college? I do. And I just remember your hand holding mine.

Do you remember what an oven our first apartment was in the summer? And you got mad at me, for leaving our bed, and retreating to the cold cement floor. The next day, you went and spent money we didn’t have on a window air conditioner. That still makes me giggle like crazy.

I remember sitting at our small kitchen table…you trying so hard to teach me Algebra. Do you remember the day you realized it was hopeless?

I remember the way I used to make fun of  John Denver, and how you made me love him…so much that I sing Annie’s Song to our children at night.

Do you remember taking time to make a route across the campus for me so that I didn’t get lost on the first day of classes, and walking me through it? I still got lost.

Thank you for taking me to the mountains. And for teaching me how to fly fish. Do you remember that summer that we were caught in an unexpected blizzard, stuck in our tent for the whole day with only each other and sleeping bags to keep warm? We took turns reading All Creatures Great and Small to each other. As memories go, that one gets a gold star.

I remember a friend hurting my feelings. I told you. You told me to not take things so personally, and to stop being so sensitive.

But, do you remember going behind my back, and telling them off? There are few things like that I remember, but I won’t ever forget that.

I remember when we saw our little girl for the first time. Just a small little funny shaped green button on a black screen. And you told me it was ok to cry. And so did you.

And I love that you brought me roses, and the nurses roses, too. Because you were so happy that she and I were ok after a tough and dramatic delivery.

And I love that you started the tradition of giving our babies baths to ENYA music. Do you remember ? Sounds of Memory of Trees and Orinoco Flow mixed with splashing and baby gurgles floating from our bathroom.

Do you remember the day you went back to work after Oldest Boy was born? And I was left alone with TWO babies? I’ll never forget your face as you walked out the door. Clearly doing battle in your head about your responsibilities at work, and your worry for me. It was somewhere between a bemused grin, and an anxious smile.

I called you 14 times that day.

I love traveling to new places with you. I love that you drove like a maniac in Italy even though we didn’t know where we were going. And that you surprised me with that trip, because you love surprising me. Do you remember our first time eating at Mon Ami Gabi’s in Vegas? And that eccentric couple we played black jack with? They made us laugh so hard we couldn’t even talk.


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