Dear WordPress,

I’m one of your new bloggers. Thank you for your lovely awards and words of encouragement.  I just opened my Dashboard to find a little strange icon…which turned out to be a trophy, in my notifications. 500 likes!

Thank you so much for letting me know! I had it figured at 489, but we’ll go with your records.

As long as I have you here, I hope you don’t mind if I go on a bit. No one blogging publisher is going to be perfect. That being said, there’s always room for improvement.

Now, I’m not going to get on you about losing my poem about Diet Coke. I suppose I could have pushed some wrong button, it happens. I totally didn’t, though. I compose on my computer, not on paper, so unfortunately that bit of genius is gone. It was really inspired, and funny. Writing at its most clever. Gone, baby Gone. But like I said, no problem.

I’m no complainer.

And, to show you how positive I am, I did fix that little problem of people clicking on my Avatar, only to be taken to a page that said I took my blog down. It took me 2 days. But what else do I have to do? Three kids, laundry, shopping, meals, working out, baseball game, softball games, T Ball games, helping out at the local homeless shelter.

I’m  a channel of grace.

Now, I do have just a tiny bone to pick with you, though. About this Freshly Pressed business….

What exactly makes you FRESH PRESS someone? I’ve read some. They’re good. Fine. They are grammatical. Which I suppose is noteworthy. They don’t say to  instead of too when they mean also. They know where to separate words into paragraphs. Big whoop.

Do you want me to write about my experience in the grocery store? I can do that! I’ve been known to make people chortle and chuckle all over the place.

You want poetry? Don’t lose my Diet Coke poem!

You like photography? Did you SEE that picture of my dog? I Instagrammed it and everything.

Do you realize it’s like being a cute little kid at an orphanage and being picked over? Or a puppy on display in a kennel being passed by without a second look at the Pet Shop?

Did I mention I used to have a blog over at Blogger? Yes sirree. And I’ve been checking out Tumblr on a daily basis. They keep tempting the bajeebees outta me. But, I’m nothing if not loyal.

You’re welcome.

Who needs to be Freshly Pressed?! Not this blogger. I don’t need outside validation from a bunch of guys sitting around computers.

But I’m not here to be a problem. I really do love WordPress. You guys are awesome. Really.

Please forget what I said. I won’t leave you. It’s ME. Not you. I get so jealous of those Fresh Bloggers.

I can be whatever you want me to be! Just tell me! And if you were to give me such an honor..how will I know if you choose me? Will music play as soon as I open my Dashboard? Da Da Da Daaaaaaaa!!!!

Cuz that’d be cool.

Not that I’m expecting it.

I’m glad we had this little talk. I feel better.

Sincerely,

Lisa WordPress Carr

Related Article: How to Get Freshly Pressed

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42 thoughts on “Freshly Schmesly

    1. Dear Miss Fresh Pressed Herself,
      It may be random….but not in your case. If I’m not mistaken…it’s how I found you.
      And you know how much I love your style*
      Sometimes WP is smart*:)
      Love,Lis
      Xoxo

      1. Dear Lisa,

        You ARE mistaken – I’ve never been Freshly Pressed. I’ve given the blog a 17 rating because of the swearing, and they don’t Freshly Press those with a rating, I don’t think. No sudden stardom for me, I’ve gained my readers through honest toil. 😉

        Love Dotty xxx

        1. Dearest Dotty,
          Hmmm..That’s weird.
          But I am psychic.
          So, maybe I’m seeing it for the future?
          On your other blog perhaps?
          Or one you haven’t started yet?
          Or maybe I’m honing in on the FRESH part.
          Bramwell?
          Getting fresh?
          Who knows. My gift of prediction is wild and untamed.
          :)))
          Love,
          Lis
          xoxoxo

          1. Dear Lisa,

            I don’t see the point of it myself. From what I’ve seen, yes, those blogs get loads of followers but few of them stick around – the post that gets Freshly Pressed gets a lot of comments and Likes but after that it goes back down so they’re left with big numbers of Followers – but it seems to be a HOLLOW number, echoey, and what’s the point of that – 1,000 Followers, 8 Likes, 2 comments?

            Love Dotty xxx

            1. Dear Dotty,
              I think you are right.
              I will be so ticked off if they Fresh Press Me.

              Thank you setting me straight.
              I’ve always been one of those people that craves the spotlight. Hollow as it might be.

              What I really want …is people to start talking on my blog!!! Look, I have some comments on this one!!!

              Who needs Fresh Pressed when they got Chatty Bloggers???
              🙂
              Thank you for being my favoritest cussing mental headbanging British Blogger EVER.
              Wordpress got a lot more fun for me after I found you♥
              Lis
              xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  1. FP only seems to pick blogs with a big wide photo at the top and uncontroversial content (perhaps because of the fundamentalists, plus FP may not like reading – they go by looks mainly).

  2. What’s freshly pressed? I thought it was a list of posts that changed all the time as people added or updated. Shows how much I know 🙂

    1. Dear Roly,
      I wish I didn’t know what freshly pressed meant!!
      I wouldn’t be so green with envy!!
      AND I wouldn’t be rolling my eyes and huffing in frustration when I read…”I’ve been freshly pressed TWICE”…on other people’s stuff.

      Braggers.

      But if I were to ever get PRESSED…I’d be obnoxious. So.

      🙂
      Lis
      Xoxo

  3. I love this! I actually wrote a similar post, but never had to post it, because, you guessed it, I got Freshly Pressed. It was a total shock. I was like: “THAT is what they chose to Freshly Press!??!?” I seriously had so many better ones. Oh well. I like that you reference some of the lame-o ones. We are always saying, “If only I wrote about how to hang up a hammock today, then I’d be Freshly Pressed!” Nice post!

  4. I doubt I’ll ever be Freshly Pressed (so not cool or clever enough), and this is the first time I have found you (via Truth and Cake, Freshly Press Yourself), but, like you, I am loyal! Looking forward to reading more from you.
    Cheers,
    Laura

  5. I don’t want to be FP, as I can’t even appreciate the awards I get. I like Science, but I have to figure that the study is flawed… I think that 69% is turned around… 🙂

In the latest scientific study, people who comment on blogs are 96% sexier than those who don't.

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