I’m starting to notice a pattern as I skip my way down the road of 29 gifts in 29 days. It’s only taken me eight days to figure it out...but in my defense, things like patterns go under the category of MATH..and that’s never been one of my strong suits. I’m discovering this wonderful glow from inside of me that seems to be ignited every time I give. Take today. I was asked to sub for my son’s Morning Preschool class. Warning: If you are the kind of mom that works 9-5, and then comes home to cook, clean, and run your children hither, thither, and yon..you may want to turn away from this particular post. Because what I’m about to tell you could leave you with a taste in your mouth similar to cod liver oil mixed with molasses.
I’m a stay at home Mom that is quickly undone by obligations other than ones of my own choosing.
I did actually work when Violet, my oldest was born. I brought her with me to my job at a Private Montessori School. I was teaching the 6-9 year old group, and I couldn’t bear to leave them, but I couldn’t stand the idea of leaving my new little daughter either. Because I’m one of the most blessed people on this planet, my school allowed me to bring my busy little fairy with the shock of midnight black hair with me, and gave me an assistant to help out. Violet’s first 18 months of her life were spent being carried, sang to, kissed, loved, and otherwise waited on hand and foot by 17 of the most amazing children I’ve ever known.
But then Klaus was born, and management at the school changed. It was decided that I would stay home until the little ones were bigger. I was in the process of renewing my teaching certificate when Sunny surprised us like an unexpected summer day in the middle of winter. He starts Kindergarten next year, leaving me at home….where at the moment it seems I will stay. I must tell you, it’s a luxury I did not expect to have, and I never wake up without a deep sense of gratitude for being able to create each day as I wish it to be.
Here’s the nasty part. Wonderwoman Mommas across the world….veer away..NOW. I’ve gotten quite spoiled these last few years. If I want to drop kids off at school…come home and workout..I do. Or if I feel like diving into one of the kid’s closets and organizing it ok..that doesnt happen too often, but it’s a lovely thought ….I could. Or meeting my chatty ladies for coffee, I can because my schedule is easily manipulated. So, when I’m required to actually get dressed, have makeup on, provide breakfast for children AND get them off to school..AND work for the morning…it can cause me stress. I’m ducking from fear of rotten veggies and brown bananas being thrown at me.
This morning as I clumsily attempted life in the real world, I found myself snapping at lollygagging frozen waffle eaters, yelling obscenities at the butter-eating dog, and poking myself in the eye with mascara all while trying to brush my teeth. Because I’m spoiled, and unused to having to do anything in the morning other than get my bath robe and flip-flops on. Just in time to load up, strap in, and chauffeur said lollygaggers to their respective schools.
But here’s the thing. I could have stayed home this morning sipping coffee, or made arrangements to meet my friends. I could have saved that melting stick of butter on the counter had I not been busy making myself presentable. But I would have missed:
- This beautiful original piece of art by the class Picasso that was given to me without hesitation.
- A sincere I love you by a shy little thing that had little else to say.
- A truthful Miss Lisa! You are SO silly!!! when I read to the class in my best hillbilly redneck accent.
- My pure delight at one of my little student’s responses to….. Do you like the song, If you’re happy and you know it?….Nah, but I do like the song, I’m SEXY and I know it!!
- Hugs..so plentiful I cannot even count.
- A witnessing of pure unselfishness over and over again. It’s a myth that preschoolers don’t know how to share.
- Laughter that I gathered up like rare wildflowers and plan on saving for a rainy day.
There’s so much more. But this gives you an idea. So here’s my pattern. Give–receive—give—-Happyness—-give—-get more in return. I think I’m onto something.