It’s hard not to notice all the Do it Yourself blogs out there. There’s everything DIY these days: homemade laundry soap… gift wrap…. bras. I’m making that last one up…but it wouldn’t shock me a bit to google BRAS and see DIY in the results. I’m not making fun of DIY. I myself find my own eyes lighting up like Clark Griswold’s tacky Christmas bulbs that twinkle when I see those letters. If you don’t love that movie by the way, I seriously doubt you will like this blog. Turn back immediately. I’m totally pumped about Doing it Myself …but then I realize I’m fresh out of chicken wire, and I don’t own a sewing machine.
Here’s the thing…I’m wondering if anyone has ever thought of a DIY for Happyness. I deliberately misspell happyness ever since The Pursuit of Happynesshttp://youtu.be/_xcZTtlGweQ with Will Smith. I remember that movie each time I spell it that way… and it makes me HAPPY. I’m thinking I may have to get a little
copycatish fancy, and do this as a Series. Cuz if you are anything like me, your brain can only take in so many words. You might think I have a plan. Of course I don’t. I don’t even know how long this series will last or if it will last at all. I may decide to stay in bed for the next few days and eat cookie dough and watch really bad reality tv instead. Do I have you around my little finger yet? I’ll remind you, that if you are an organized soul, this may take copious amounts of alcohol in order to stay tuned, but..I hope you do. I love talking about Happy.
My gut says that the first block to happyness is ugly thoughts. We constantly have this running commentary going on all day…OMG I look horrible today..I’m hungry..where’s my phone..I need some new flip flops..I have GOT to stop drinking Diet Coke..o crap. I forgot to feed my children today, I’m not fit to raise lizards!..and on and on and on. Some thoughts are harmless, others are mean and nasty. Towards others, or ourselves. Like my awesome Hypnotist Andria http://www.dakotahypnosis.net/all-about-us/staff/ likes to say:
…..We are not responsible for the thoughts that come into in our head. Only the ones we keep.
So..how do you get rid of the icky ones? I started reading Byron Katie a year or so ago. She was referred to in one of the books I was reading at the time by Martha Beck. Katie has quite a story, but I gotta keep this short..so if you want to know more about her..I would suggest you read her book, I Need Your Love, is That True? She has this awesome formula for questioning one’s thoughts, and shedding unpleasant ones.
- Take your thought that is causing you stress. Unbelievable!!! I waved at George as he was coming out of the tattoo parlour…and he completely ignored me! He doesn’t care about me at all!
- Ask yourself, is it true? Now when I say…is it true..I mean..if the whole fate of the world hung in the balance..based on your absolute certainty that this was indeed true..could you say..yes it’s true. (hint hint…we can’t really ever know if something’s true for sure..so the answer will always be NO) I can’t know it’s true that George doesn’t care about me. (As it turns out, George didn’t have his glasses on..never even saw me. He can’t wear glasses for the next 3 weeks while his dragon tattoo on his right eyebrow heals.)
- How do I behave when I believe the thought…George doesn’t care about me? I kick stray cats, I eat ungodly amounts of cool whip..I snap at everyone.
- (This one’s my favorite..right here): Is there any good reason you can come up with to keep thinking the thought..George doesn’t care about me? No. Being sad and eating that much cool whip isn’t good for anyone.
- And finally..the TURNAROUND. Turn around your negative thought so it points the other way. George DOES care about me. If this is a stretch for you, come up with 3 things to prove he does. He did loan me $10,000 last week for my breast implants…. he babysits my ferret whenever I ask… he’s never ignored me before.
So. Understand the process? It’s just you..talking your way through a stressful thought. Katie would always recommend talking TO the person as well, in this case, George..if you still have your doubts. Her point would be, to not let your thoughts get ahead of you. She has great ideas for what to do if you find out George really was ignoring you
like slathering peanut butter on his car and then dumping feathers on it that are quite lovely.
More to come. But speaking from experience, learning to question my thoughts has gone along way towards my happyness. Thank you so much Byron Katie. And thank YOU Will Smith/Chris Gardener for inspiring me to misspell words. Happyness was underlined seven times when I hit spellcheck. Awesomeness.